Blind Recall Cancelled, Small Children Recalled Instead

New York (API) Today the wide-ranging recall of blinds due to issues with their cords potentially strangling small children was scrapped, and small children were recalled instead.

Kal Penn, who recently left the television show “House” to work for the Federal Government, gave this quote on behalf of the U. S. Department of Overprotective Safety Redundancy Issues: “If we are going to improve safety, we might as well recall these twitching little uncontrollable proto-people who are causing all these safety problems in the first place.”

Parents are requested to bring their defective young offspring into the closest Department of Overprotective Safety Redundancy office.