Now Is Not A Good Time To Order A Printer From Yemen

You might want to cancel any orders for laser printer cartridges from the Middle East in general.

In the foreseeable future: Laser printer cartridges are forbidden on flights. Of course. Any thing that has happened in the past becomes hysterically prohibited. Even though there are infinite numbers of ways people can mess with us in the future.

What is it they say in the stock market? Past results are not predictive of future performance. And, indeed, every time a terrorist tries to mess with the US, it rarely happens in a fashion that has been discovered in the past. Yet we can't carry toothpaste or other liquids and we have to take our shoes off so that the authorities can show that they are taking impotent measures.

What will happen if somebody brings on a toupee bomb or a bra bomb? What will happen when somebody activates a remote-controlled aircraft with a bomb? And what absolutely intrusive measures will be taken if somebody is caught with swallowed or surgically implanted explosives? You can't take a person apart and put them back together...

Just Trying To Help Carly Out Here...

Since Carly Fiorina fired so many HP employees and bought herself two corporate jets, here's a strategy that would work for her, and fit in with the Republican philosophy: Fire the people of California, and then buy a Hummer. Of course, Carly, you would only want to fire the slackers, not the fine, shiny, productive millionaires who are pissed off about how much they pay in taxes. So Paris Hilton can stay.

Her lackeys can just drive up to peoples' houses in the middle of the night, ring the doorbell, and when someone answers, say, "You're fired!" Then put a black hood over their heads and whisk them to the Nevada border. It's simple, it's inhumane, and not much thought needs to be put into it. In other words, it's solid baseline Republicanism through and through.

But maybe the people of California will fire her first. That would be what you might call "pulling an HP."

Perspective...It's a Beautiful Thing.

Fox has been involved in so many conflicts of interest and instances of blatant manipulation that perhaps someone should consider pulling their license, yet they thrive, supported by some of the most angry, evil and blatantly political money. NPR does one vaguely stupid thing and it should be destroyed? And the guy they fire immediately gets a two million dollar contract and national attention? What kind of punishment is that?

What Juan Williams said on Fox was definitely cringe-worthy. But he probably should not have been fired over it. It's really not the greatest move for NPR, already in the crosshairs of conservatives, to create a bullseye on their forehead in a manner that will attract negative attention on them, and has rewarded Williams with a better deal. Many people say unintelligent, uninformed things all the time, and it often just passes. Williams definitely should have been brought in and read the riot act, and absolutely prohibited from identifying himself as an NPR correspondent in any further outside outside interviews.

The True Culture of Entitlement

The Republican Right is really furious about the "culture of entitlement." For years, terms like "welfare queen" have been bandied about to try to inflame passions and influence voters.

We do need to get rid of the culture of entitlement. But the right is looking in the wrong direction. We need to get rid of the feeling of entitlement to big government contracts and legislated bribery from those who demand they should have it because they have the right friends and grease the right wheels. We need to get rid of the claim to privilege by those who have sucked the wealth out of society through activities that have damaged our nation. We need to cast off the demand that there are those who deserve to use up our resources and flaunt it in everybody else's face because, frankly, "we are better than you."

These are some of the worse claims of entitlement around. And none of us should stand for it.

Mental Red Sludge

There are some truly vile and disruptive things people will do for money. People like Ann Coulter, Sarah Palin, Sharron Angle, Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck are the psychological equivalent of strip-mining entire mountaintops or Hungarian red sludge released into the Danube. Some people will just say things that are divisive and clearly just uttered to draw attention for no other purpose than to get money to flow in their direction.

It is really sad that segments of our culture encourage this and come up with large sums to reward it. Can you imagine if great teachers were paid what any of these hate-spreaders makes on a book tour, or if an organic farmer made what a Wall Street trader makes? Surely they create more true value in our society where the meaning of "creating value" has been turned upside down.

Driving Miss Daisy (Or Running Her Over)

Sometimes it seems like the main objective of many drivers is not to get from point A to point B. It is to become enraged, aggressive and abusive if anybody gets in front of them or acts like they want to get in front of them. Sometimes it also seems like the main use of an automobile is not as a means of transportation, but as a weapon.

Popular psychotic driving maneuvers include the "question mark", where somebody zooms around you in a (questionable) move shaped like a question mark just so they can wait in line in front of you at the red light ahead.

Another trendy move is "peeling out straight from the right turn lane." Or its more dangerous cousin, executed from the left turn lane. Bonus points for complete disregard as to what is going on with the rest of traffic so multiple people have to suddenly brake into a near-skid. C'est magnifique.

Our driving habits are, for the most part, sad, and indicative of a disturbed society. The courteous driver is out there, but there seem to be few sometimes.

It helps, though, to think of those reckless drivers as altruistic. Just think of how generous and selfless it is of them to divert police attention away from you.

Fractured Fairy Tales

It's sometimes amazing how someone will put a complete fruitcake on TV for some imagined concept of "balance." Political hacks will combat facts with unimaginable fantasy and then howl about how their "side" is not being represented.

One of the best examples of this (though there are many) is the "opposing view" on global warming. Somebody seeks out some parapsychotic "expert" to come up with a fairy tale that is contrary to all of the scientific data, and suddenly after there is some fabricated howling about how "the other side of the story is not being told," corporate media and politicians are suddenly putting the straw man in front of the cameras to spin the "reality" that up is down.

That's the beauty of an America where opinions can be bought.